to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Randomize
