i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Randomize
