ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
