Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize