im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
