I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Randomize
