Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Randomize
