glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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