I'm really into asian looking animals
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
