I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Too much gin, very little bucket
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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