He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
