Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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