am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Randomize
