sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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