I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Randomize
