im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Randomize
