i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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