I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
