I hate your face
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
