She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize
