Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize