am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
