Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
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