I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
