Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Randomize
