In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Randomize