i would punch a child for taco bell
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
