She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
