worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
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