We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Do you have feelings for this penis?
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
