That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
