Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Randomize
