Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
