There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
