I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
