I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Randomize
