Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Randomize
