grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize