she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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