Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
