Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Randomize
