I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
