fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
