we're blogging at a bar
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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