ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
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