we have officially lost it.
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
