Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
