Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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