Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Alive.
So much puke
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
