Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I need moral support for this bender
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
