i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
