Me too!
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Randomize
