did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Randomize
