so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Randomize