So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
