Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
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