i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I love you. Go after that dick
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
