mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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