I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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