And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Randomize
