Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(248): View more from Michigan

the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.

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(407): View more from Florida

so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all

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(941): View more from Florida

I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"

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(407): View more from Florida

He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances

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(206): View more from Washington

You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..

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(661): View more from California

I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.

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(860): View more from Connecticut

failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.

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(314): View more from Missouri

Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place

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(847): View more from Illinois

I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.

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