I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
sex in a hospital.. check
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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