Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Randomize
