if i can run in heels then i can drive
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Acid is not a monday night drug
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
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