Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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