When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
