He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize
