There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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