You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
