You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Randomize
