I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
