Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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