if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
