Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
