And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
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