did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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